A View From The Swallows Nest

I've just gotta have a long talk with that woman

2010-11-19T03:50:00.007-06:00

There's a rather interesting story that comes with this but that is for another time.

This is just part of the package that Skye the" loonie tune" bought me for my birthday this year cuz like she thinks that I am getting too Goddamn old to lift a shovel.

It also came with a mid mount mower, a scraper blade, a tiller, a box blade and get this a BACK HOE.

So now I guess I have no excuse not to finish the goldfish pond that I promised Skye.

end of the rainbow

2010-08-31T20:17:00.001-05:00

This was taken this spring out of my office window.

Just some frost by moonlight

2010-02-28T14:41:00.008-06:00

The limb on this oak was over a foot thick but still no match for the unrelenting weight of the snow.

Another huge oak roughed down and buried by an avalanche.

Wild Turkey tracks , I wonder where they might lead.

Lucifer thinks that it might be the home of the legendary Sasquach . I didn't have the heart to tell him that it was just the light from a hand torch that I had hung on a line and then swung over the edge and into this snow cave to get this rather eerie shot.

and some early in the morning.

One could almost imagine a white Unicorn standing below this great oak and grazing on ice crystals.

Here at night after the frost has formed it's like a magic world covered in jewels. Sometimes on walks in the moonlight on dead calm nights like these I really don't want it to end.

Not much to take pictures of around here cept SNOW. I have never seen a winter with so much hoarfrost, mind you the relative humidity has at it 's lowestr been 84% since Dec. first and last night was clear as a bell with the full moon but the humidity was 100%. This afternoon the wind came up for a few minutes and poof it was all on the ground. Instant snow storm which lasted perhaps 2 minutes.

Had a fantastic walk in the bush by moonlight last night, it's a strange world up here at night. The coyotes were simply wild in their warnings, perhaps a Cougar or a bear was on the hunt. I will have to take a walk in the next few days to see what all of the fuss was about.

If it's a bear perhaps I could stake Sky to a tree, maybe draw him or her in nice and close, yuh know so's that I could get some really nice close up pics of some of the things not to do when there are bears about. Letting someone tie you to a tree would be one that springs to mind.

Skye the Kid and the Mut out for a Sunday slide

2010-02-21T20:06:00.015-06:00

It's nice to be able to go for a slide esp. when it's only 100 meters from home, no need really to pack a lunch or a wine skin full of Scotch.

The Swallows Nest would be just above and to the right of Lucifer's head in the above pic. I suppose I could have said the dogs head but then you wouldn't have known which one I was referring to Huh.

Isn't it amazing how the snow takes on the form of huge waves suspended in time?

Skye and Lucifer out for a walk on the wild side

2010-02-21T05:32:00.007-06:00

Just some pics of a winters walk with the kid

2010-02-12T07:25:00.021-06:00

At the trout pond, some 500 meters downhill from the nest

And Lucifer my lead guard dog, 150 pounds of snap ass mean but he knows his way around the bush.
It's a long slide if you make just one mistake here.

Taken at two am during the last full moon.

2010-01-01T10:42:00.001-06:00

To lazy to put in a post, so just a pic of my going out of doors corner. People who don't get snowed in for the winter just don't know what their missing. Out here no matter what one does or where one goes outside part of this corner goes with them.

Well it's a winter wonderland alright.

2009-12-23T08:34:00.011-06:00

Lots of good fodder for my deer.

Even my dog Lucifer is thinkin"Yep it has indeed frozen over"

But the question I ask is "who the hell is going to shovel all this shit"?

However that being said, it's time for all good little Wiccans to celebrate the Yuletide and be thankful for the time of year, party hearty and just kick back for a bit.

Just part of the Yule Tide feast, I do so hope my guests enjoy it.

Whoo Hoo

2009-06-26T21:15:00.006-05:00

What can I sayPenny? Alaska King Crab and Angus Sirloin Baked potato heaped with sour cream , fresh made bacon bits and fresh chives, Mushrooms ,steamed broc and fresh baked French bread toasted with Garlic Butter and Chives, nothing like a meal built from scratch. For those who have never tried Alaska King Crab, go out and buy some, cook it up and live a little, you only live once.

Funny how some people can't understand why we never go out to restaurant to eat, like what would be the point? Whats even funnier is the fact that the little woman cooks in the best restaurant south of Winnipeg but for a really good meal she comes home. Go figure.

And get this last night the little woman said that I was cruel to force her to eat this way on our aniversity. What is a man to do?

Just a small snack for Skye

2009-06-02T09:18:00.002-05:00

Made these Blackened BBQ Honey garlic and Ginger Ribs and Wings last night and if yuh don't mind sticky fingers they made fer some pretty good eats. I was just over at Johns place and it reminded me to start picking Wood Sorrel and Fiddle Heads for soup and greens. Yeppers next it will be Wood Sorrel soup, Steak, baked Potato with Fiddle Heads for greens, Damn

Moments of Reflection

2009-05-30T10:29:00.015-05:00

And they say that Dragons don't exist. Shame that city folk never get to see this, really all it needs is music as it's the greatest light show around. And oh yeah the fires at Pipe Stone Bay are burning nicely.

Spring and new lives

2009-05-26T21:35:00.008-05:00

Red Tailed Hawk and lunch down at the snake pit.

People wonder why they never see the things that I do, fact is that most just don't look.

We've had a few new ones drop by this year, all are welcome and greeted with joy and wonder.

Full Moons Yuh just gotta love em

2009-05-08T02:21:00.003-05:00

Yep just two more steps . She wakes up hungry asking if she can have flys with that and I turn into a prince. Yep life is good

The other side of Dubai

2009-05-03T12:41:00.003-05:00

I was wondering the other day "what’s the point of building this desert empire" I mean excess can only go so far and this is so far over the top. Just think of it a city that is built to fail on so many levels, built to fail, that is unless one simply dose not care what the cost of maintaining this temple might cost in turns of human suffering. A city built on sand by slave labor, a city built to be a virtual playground for the insanely wealthy, a city almost hermetically sealed off from the rest of the world.

If at some time in the near future a relatively small group wished to rule the world, would they not need a base of operations from which to rule it with? A base of operations where all excesses and wants would be dealt with no regard as to the cost. Would it also not be necessary to reduce the rest of the world to a state of virtual serfdom before this kingdom could be fully implemented?

Think about it, By the contrivance of a small group, America, Canada, Europe, and Russia are in tatters and the rest of the world is soon to follow. Africa is of course a complete disaster and a large portion of the Middle East will soon be destroyed. Oh sure the oil will continue to flow and the land wealth of the servant nations will still be there, mined and pumped by the native slave labor but for whom, and where will the wealth go? I happen to think that it will go to Dubai.

What better way to acquire a palace nation than to dupe a pawn into building for you that which you require, at no cost to you I might add. When the shit hits the fan all one has to do is move in, the slave labor would already be in place and those who built your castle empire in the sand could simply be bought with official title and a promise of God, and if they didn’t like that they could just as easily be done away with, I mean who would or could stop you from doing anything that you desired. The laws after all would be your own.

Just some thoughts,take a look at the painting(it's clickable) and let me know what you think.

And the Truth will set You FREE.

2009-05-01T23:16:00.003-05:00

These things are like really important to know.

money well spent $56,518 per hour vs $O per hour

2009-04-29T14:36:00.003-05:00

I did this in GIMP which is a FREE program and it took less than ten min.

Note the realism, and it didn't scare the shit out of people while I was doing it.

Canada plays Follow the Leader

2009-04-22T14:19:00.005-05:00

It's said that a picture is worth a thousand words

Kinda makes Yuh proud now don't it?

The best laid schemes o' Turkeys, Dogs and Men Gang Aft Angley

2009-04-15T10:47:00.012-05:00

The valley is starting to bloom

Last winter shot

Okie dokies by popular request I shall now relate a tale of woe a tale so traumatic that only now after many years have I been able to come to grips with the events that unfolded on that fateful night so many years ago.

Now as with the many other things mostly bad, I might add that have happened to this poor wretched soul, this horrid event occurred shortly after I had taken up residents at what was to become the Swallow’s Nest and home to the many friends that I was to make during my tenure here. I had moved in the previous fall and all was well or so I had thought, there I was alone in my own little world and I had made it through my first winter in the wilds of Manitoba with nary a scratch. Ok there were the deep gashes left by the owls and the totally unprovoked attack by a killer Deer but other than that I had made it ok.

As I recall I had retired early that night for no other reason than that I really had nothing better to do, I was at piece I was contented I was the complete master of my domain. It was spring and it had been raining gently all evening, the grass was greening and the first flowers were poking their heads out to start life a new, things were pretty good. But as we all know things can change.

Now having consumed more than a few lagers the night before I awoke around 2am with that pressing urgency that we have all experienced from time to time. What to do What to do? Well the common sense thing would have been to simply go to the little boys room that was and still is just around the corner from my sleeping quarters, but did I do this? Not on your life did I do this simple and most logical thing and indeed it would have been a most simple thing, get up in a sleep and lager induced haze, go for a tinkle a flush and back to bed to sleep the sleep of the righteous and just with hardly a thought given. This would have made sense, but we’re talking me here so logic and common sense are not an issue, they however should have been, I mean like they really should have been an issue.

Now I’m a man, ok so I’m an idiot as well but I repeat myself and I decided to do a Guy thing. Sadly women simply cannot understand this guy thing stuff. I imagine that much of this failure to understand the male need to do the ultimate Guy thing is a matter of anatomy and whoo hoo for that but it’s like they may well have the plumbing but they , (women that is) lack the fixtures I believe that this fact explains much.

Now having been married for what seemed like an eternity I had gone through the lid up seat down trial by nag and being the subservient and completely non combative sort of fellow that I am I had taken to the habit of squatting, (I know it ain’t a guy thing but) Yuh know to put myself on a level playing field , well I have news for any male reading this” It’s never been a level playing field, never was and never will be” no matter how often women tell us that it is, they lie in that condescending way that all women have, just like patting a puppy on the head and telling him what a good boy he has been for going tinkle on the paper instead of the floor. Just with men they pat us on the head and say” What a Good boy, you lifted the seat when you went tinkle and put it back down too, Thata fella now run along.”

Anyway my wife having passed some time previous I was now alone and free to tinkle were and when I chose, the nearest neighbor was some miles away and besides it was the middle of the night, who was to know?
Now where I live there are no lights to speak of, the nearest town is some 44klm away and far down hill and so is not an issue and the nearest neighbor is surrounded by forest also not an issue. Adding to that the fact that it was a moonless night and overcast with rain clouds when I say that it was dark I really mean that it was black. As black as the inside of a hat there was simply nothing to see. I negotiated my way to the front door feeling my way along the walls, I reach the front door and slid it open gently so as not to wake my guardians and friends AKA two Great Danes and a Min Pin who were fast asleep on the bed. I mentally paced off the distance to the edge of the deck, did I mention that it was like really dark, well it was and I had my left hand out in front of me Yuh know to touch the railing. I was almost there, relief was at hand yeah I’m right handed.

As I reached out I felt my left hand touch something that I was sure had not been there the night before, it was firm and get somehow soft and yielding, I then did that which besides going out in the first place I should NOT have done, I poked it. It woke up. It was not amused, It was a twenty pound ball of startled fury, it was a Wild Turkey and it was Not alone.
It seems that these killer birds had taken up refuge on my railing to shelter from the rain and when I poked it that bird startled from its slumber simply exploded. It went straight up in the air gobbling flapping it’s wings and squawking and it started off a chain reaction. In launching itself like a pershing missile it delivered me a roundhouse right to the head that was like being handed a two fisted back hander by Jimmy Conners I screamed, the rest of the turkeys woke up and they screamed, I screamed louder, they flew around in the dark and beat me more. The dogs woke up and hearing that their master was in dire distress and was in need of rescue joined the mayhem. Odin the Magnificent leads the charge, with a woofing volume that only a Great Dane is capable of, it’s dark remember and he can’t see me standing in the doorway. I yell No Odin No. He charges forward like the magnificent beast that he is and hits me smack between the legs sending me flying ass over knuckles , I land on the deck screaming, Nicole the Beautiful couldn’t see me either but knew that she had to save her master at all costs and Odin the magnifisent was after all only a male and couldn’t be trusted with such an important task.

She barrel asses over me lying there whimpering. Yuh just haven’t experienced horror until you have been run over by a 185 pound Great Dane in the dark. In case you don’t know it they have Huge claws designed to eviscerate wild boar. Then came Natasha the Brave Min Pin yarpping with all of the ferocity of a full sized Doberman Pincer. She ran over me as well. The mayhem simply can not be described, Turkeys flying hither and thither in the dark beating the dogs about the heads and shoulders with wings like snow shoes, The dogs woofing, snarling and snapping at unseen attackers. And me simply wishing for death and realizing that this must indeed be what hell was like and if so I most certainly did not want to go there and that I would reform my evil ways if only this horror would end. All the while the hell sound of Gobble Gobble Gobble reverberated though the valley.

Finally the turkeys managed to find their way to freedom and the dogs quieted down after what seemed to be an eternity of me yelling “Shut the fuck up already”. Then after checking to see that I had survived the attack of the killer monster birds and knowing full well that they and only they had been directly responsible for this most heroic rescue, the bastards went back to bed leaving me there bruised and bleeding in the dark. Needless to say that my urge to tinkle off of my deck was no longer an issue.

Thus endth the story of Turkeys, Dogs and a Man who can’t seem to change even if he should I guess.

Some of my friends ain't so smart

2009-04-13T09:39:00.005-05:00

Yuh know at this time of the year these ditzes would sooner fight than fuck, go figure. People often say that turkeys aren't to bright, well their right their not very bright. Downright stupid really.

However it's quite a pleasantl sound to wake up to when their gobble gobble gobble fills the valley. I've had some interesting times with these brainless members of the Swallow's Nest inc. some pleasant, some not so much. Some shouldn't have happened to a dog, what am I saying they did happen to a dog, several as a matter of fact and me as well. Turkeys are evil creatures and can't be trusted.

I truley believe that the turkey should be the American national bird instead of the noble Eagle.

Yes a true symbol of America, as brainless as GWBush and about as useless as the One Big Assed Mistake America, Obama.

Perhaps I'm being to hard on my fine feathered friends that share my world with me, lets face it even these birds that if intellect were coin they wouldn't have enough to by a stick of gum between them could do a better job of running a country than whats in charge now.

Do with this as you will

2009-04-06T22:55:00.003-05:00

Now I don't like to get all that political in this blog for reasons that will remain obscure. However I do live but 1068 meters from the US border, so like I said do with this as you will.

Some friends have returned, spring has sprung

2009-04-03T20:12:00.001-05:00

The return of the eagles.

a Hummer by any Definition

2009-03-28T10:46:00.003-05:00

A female Golden how droll, how drab but still pretty neat.

A male Ruby Throat in all his splendor, bannding No.77654987 better know in these parts as leon

Ain't this fellow a prince Banding No.77654974 A.K.A Simon

Now I ask yuh , what the hell chance does a guy have agaisnt a showoff like this?

The truly amazing things about these little fellows is their metabolism, what with a heartbeat just slightly in excess of one thousand beats per minute they are truly high performance finely tuned machines much like a fine European sports car. Then a thousand wing beats per minute turn them into natures equivalent of fighter planes gone mad. Direction means nothing to them, I have even seen them fly with their heads orientated towards the ground and their asses pointed towards the sky, as stated direction means nada. The only way one sees them is either hovering motionless or going Uber fast, there seems to be no middle of the road for these little Demon Gems of the air.

However along with this most fantastic and frenetic life style comes a price, the entire day is spent finding high energy food and fighting and the amount of food consumed is truly astonishing. Take for example if a normal human being were to have the metabolic rate equal to that of a humming bird that person would have to consume something in the neighborhood of 640 pounds of beef per day JUST to stay alive and this would mean being hand fed as the preparing of the meat and the cutting up of same would require even more energy.

At night they go into a state of almost complete torpor or hibernation that is to say they are at night as close to being dead as can be without actually being dead. Their heat beat slows down to less than one beat per min and their body temp falls to that of the surrounding air.

All of this in a beautiful little creature that weighs less than 1/10th of one ounce and is as fearless as a lion.

And the colors, Oh My, they are most assuredly like precious gems taken to wing.
I really an proud to call so many of them friends.

Just waiting for the spring

2009-03-26T04:17:00.001-05:00

Speaking of raptors, soon very soon in just a few short weeks one of the largest Raptor migrations on the planet will pass by my office window. Hawks of all kinds, Sharp Shinned, Red tailed, Coopers, Kestrels, The Northern Harriers, and of course the Peregrine Falcons. Then will come the Eagles first the Golden although on good winters a few will stay, then later will come the Bald Eagles as they are primarily fish eaters and must wait for the rivers and lakes to thaw.

It’s not uncommon for me to see several hundred eagles per day flying past my window during this grand time of the year. The raptors use the valley, which extends for hundreds of miles south as a flyway. The valley generates thermals, which make the flight north a breeze as they might say.

Then last but certainly not least between the days of May 1st and 5th will come my old friends the vultures, a.k.a. the Crypt Keepers, Eddie, Herman, Uncle Festis , Boris, and of course Edgar, Allen and Poe. Strange as they are never late, and when they arrive they always manage to do a power dive into the valley and then ride the thermals up to my place. With nary a beat of wing my friends give me a flyby, just at tree top level barely clearing the house. Then with a tip of the wing as if to say Hello Chum glad to see you survived the winter again, then they are off to hunt dead things. They return each and every day weather permitting to ride the thermals over the valley and sometimes to just drop by for a chat or perhaps to see if I have brought home anything good for them to eat. I have watched them soar for four hours without so much as a single wing beat. Turkey Vultures are truly masters of the air.

Eagles are good sure enough but compared to my Crypt Keepers, Eagles can at best be described as rank amateurs with still so much to learn.

The really strange thing about these characters is that it’s always the same seven, I’m sure they are all confirmed bachelors. I have caught and banded each of them as I do with most of the birds that share my world and it’s always the same magnificent seven, they arrive together on the same day in spring and in fall they leave together on the same day, there are never more or less always just seven.

Then later when the flowers are in bloom will come the pests, my dear sweet little pests the Humming birds. It is they who will give me such joy as they squabble and bicker and fight for no good reason whatsoever. Again it’s always the same birds, I have three species here, the Ruby Throated, the Emerald and the Golden just every year it’s more of them, they do have young Yuh know. Funny how something with a brain the size of a pencil point can find its way back from it’s Club Med. wintering grounds in the Caribbean, but find their way back they do. Demanding little assholes they are too as they buzz my head when their feeders are empty. I suppose I could perhaps share some small part of the blame for the feeders I mean. Most people just make up a solution of sugar water for the hummers, I however use a mixture of Demerara Sugar and Honey and the word seems to have gotten around that my place is good digs. Now I have hundreds of the little bastards to deal with. Pests I tell yuh just nothing but pests, like demented frankin bees on high-test fuel.

But goddamnit can those little buggers ever fly, like zero to mach 10 in nothing flat and stop on a heartbeat. Then they fly straight up and down, sideways and backwards and hover all with equal ease. I must however admit that it is a pleasure to have three or for of them perched on my fingers or my knee while I sit on the deck enjoying a cool one on a hot summer’s day. Having them hover not two inches from my nose staring at me with those beady little eyes however can be somewhat disconcerting, those beaks are sharp, and when they do this I am quick to check their feeders, as I don’t want to lose an eye just for being tardy.

But for now I must wait, we are in the midst of a mayor snowstorm that is threatening to dump some 45-cm of snow on us by Friday. Just what we needed, North Dakota has already been declared a disaster zone because of the flooding and all of their water ends up flowing throw Manitoba on it’s way to Lake Winnipeg and then on towards Hudson’s Bay . If the ice on the Red River doesn’t breakup in the next few days all of the towns along it’s banks will be flooded out again just as they were in 97 when we had the worst flooding in the last one hundred years. What a lake that was 800 klm long and in places 120 klm wide.
But lucky me as my house sits atop the second highest point in all of Manitoba and if I were to get flooded out the city of Winnipeg would be some 320 meters or 1000 feet under water, Hmmm perhaps I should start selling boats.

Just waiting for Spring

2009-03-24T05:31:00.002-05:00

It's a nice place to sit and think of a world that could be, if only we were'nt so goddamn stupid. Do any of you have little places that you like to go, you know to be at one with the world? places like that are important to keep ones sanity when the entire world is losing it's mind.

Many people wonder why I basically live the life of a hermit, Do you?

Ahh to be in SUNNY MANITOBA , Life and times at the Swallows Nest

2009-03-11T22:21:00.005-05:00

Coyotes kill deer

Odin and Tasha and whats left of the victom at the scene of the crime.

They went thisa way.

And off they go, before the trail gets COLD If they need backup I'll send Thor, Apollo , Zeus and Lucifer

Lucky that it's only -32c outside.

So it's back tuh cooking just tuh keep warm Yuh understand.

Tonights supper, a low cal Shrimp and Steak snack, I cook the low cal way cuz like I really care about the LITTLE LADYS waist line. Or was that line wasted ?(snigger)

the Richard Simmons Special.

2009-03-02T21:18:00.003-06:00

Now I gotta ask Yuh, What could there possibly be that is fattening about this meal?

last Saterday I made this ultra low cal dinner for Skye, cuz like I really care yuh know, and guess what she says "Oh My God that is going to make me sooo fat". Then I told her " bit late to get fat Dear"

And then the fight started, I don't remember much after that.

2009-02-21T18:23:00.000-06:00

I guess this Bud ist for You

2009-02-19T12:38:00.003-06:00

Buddhist temple built out of one million beer bottles
A temple has been built by monks in northeast Thailand who used over a million recycled beer bottles to make the walls and roof.

Buddhist monks have recycled over one million used bottles to build their temple in Khun Han, Thailand near the Cambodian border Photo: BRONEK KAMINSKI/BARCROFT MEDIA

Wat Pa Maha Chedi Kaew, also known as Wat Lan Kuad or 'the Temple of a Million Bottles', is in Sisaket province near the Cambodian border, 400 miles from the capital Bangkok.

The Buddhist monks began collecting bottles in 1984 and they collected so many that they decided to use them as a building material.

They encouraged the local authorities to send them more and they have now created a complex of around 20 buildings using the beer bottles, comprising the main temple over a lake, crematorium, prayer rooms, a hall, water tower, tourist bathrooms and several small bungalows raised off the ground which serve as monks quarters.

The bottles do not lose their colour, provide good lighting and are easy to clean, the men say.

A concrete core is used to strengthen the building and the green bottles are Heineken and the brown ones are the Thai beer Chang.

The monks are so eco-friendly that the mosaics of Buddha are created with recycled beer bottle caps.

Altogether there are about 1.5 million recycled bottles in the temple, and the monks at the temple are intending to reuse even more.

Abbot San Kataboonyo said: "The more bottles we get, the more buildings we make."

The beer bottle temple is now on an approved list of eco-friendly sight-seeing tours in southeast Asia.

She haz vays of making zim fit or a dinner for two lovers

2009-02-08T06:15:00.015-06:00

Yeppers all of the tools needed, Mallet, exacto knife , paint makers and above all BEER. There she sits while I'm bustin my ass in the kitchen. Seems a mans/maids work is never done.
The main coarse Large fresh water Shrimp, deep fried.
Peanut oil,sesame seed oill,fresh ginger,garlic, broccoli, and cauliflower
Add med west cost shrimp cuz they the best
Add the rice Serve it up. Yummy.

Where do Dogs and Cats Come From?

2009-02-05T12:49:00.002-06:00

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to the question "Where do dogs and cats come from?"

1. Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the Garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."

2. And God said, "No probleemo! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you in spite of yourself."

3. And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail.

4. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No probleemo! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

5. And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

6. After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well."

7. And the Lord said, "No probleemo! I will create a companion for him who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration." And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam.

8. And Cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the Supreme Being. And Adam learned humility. And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And Dog was happy. And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.

Did what I love to do

2009-02-03T14:36:00.012-06:00

I just Love to cook for friends.I started the meal with a complete salad consisting of Romane lettuce, raw mushrooms, cauliflower, broccoli, pickles, red kidney beans, croutons, carrots, celery, hard boiled egg, and cheese, all topped with my favorite dressing.
The meal consisted of Buffalo steaks done medium rare, large fresh water shrimp basted in butter and grilled, steamed Broccoli, Mushroom caps filled with clarified butter sprinkled with paprika and grilled, and of course baked potato served with clarified butter and sour cream. This served alongside individual chafing dishes of boiling clarified butter for dipping all of the above mentioned.

Plus of course a good bottle of Argentinean Shiraz and after dinner coffee with Amaretto.

All toll a pretty decent lunch, if I do say so meself.

On a side note this was done at Skye's, it's at home at the Swallow's Nest that I really like to go crazy with cooking, then it's an all out food fest with no holds barred.

For a Limited time only, Click for Your very own FREE CAT SCAN some limitations apply

2009-01-21T13:29:00.007-06:00

Penny listen to Dr. Fish and follow instructions exactly, (or it just ain't gonna work)

Now gaze intently into the Scanner all the while probing your navel with your left pinky finger(this is important) and repeat the words

I WILL RELAX, I WILL RELAX ,I WILL RELAX, and let nature take it's course.

Now don't You feel better already?

Who says us Dr.'s don't make House Cat calls? Hummmmm

This medical convenience brought to you buy the Bird Brained Research Team at Swallow's Nest Inc.

Striving for a better yesterday by looking at tomorrow through 20/20 hindsight.

Want a second opinion? repeat step one.

the Awakening

2009-01-20T10:03:00.004-06:00

The pic is from my Dragons Egg, the Hatching Series of oil candles

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change... or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you... and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself... and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself... and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties... and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, whom you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with ... and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.

You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone... and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God/dess isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and God/dess by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

Hier stehe ich, ich kann nicht anders.

Don't Yuh just love Skye,Flowers and Rock Gardens?

2009-01-16T19:20:00.007-06:00

And people wonder why I'm waiting for summer. Ho Hummmm and it's only 4 months away. Lets see now 120 days Yup. Mumble Mumble.

The Sounds of Silence can be deafening

2009-01-12T17:40:00.003-06:00

Do you know the sounds of silence and is there really such a thing?

Most of you don't know that my Grandparents mostly raised me, and that I was brought up in the old way working my back to the bone. But my Grandparents taught me many things that they thought were important (and they were right) They taught me to be intolerant of stupidity and ignorance. Now let me explain that last sentence, everyone is ignorant of many things no one has total knowledge. But I was taught that people who when given the chance and ability to learn and then choose not to, are stupid and are not to be tolerated, they are simply a hindrance to all of those around them. Now I'm 56 years old and it is the anniversary of the death of my Granddad, this has gotten me thinking of some of the things that he taught me.

Now my Granddad was an interesting man, firstly as a young man he served in the German army during world war one, then later served as an officer in the Waffen SS Armored Corps for the entire Second World War. The things that man must have seen and yet it never hardened him, or at least he never once let on that it had. He remained up until the time of his death the kindest, gentlest and most sensitive human that I have ever known.

After the war my Granddad moved with his wife and sons to Canada, they moved with what they could carry or wear and nothing else. Some of you might know that my Granddad was a machinist and a damn good one at that as were his sons. This was one of the reasons that they were required to leave Germany and move to Canada as it was deemed that Germany was not to rebuild too quickly or easily. Ergo the best German machinists had to go, as anyone worth his or her salt knows that Machinists are the backbone or any industrialized nation.

Upon reaching Canada he was given plot of land of some 240 acres of swamp and the choice of becoming a farmer or becoming a farmer. Another insult, He chose the later and the former but also became a blacksmith. Now even when I was a child this half horse Jew town was something right out of a cheap sort of western movie. Dirt streets, wooden sidewalks with rats the size of dash hounds living underneath, ( a lot of the rats had big hooked noses and I always thought they didn't interbreed) two livery stables but no Blacksmith shop.

Working as blacksmiths my granddad and my uncles all the while sort of farming the swamp managed to parlay that which they had into owning virtually all of the best land surrounding the town. They became big farmers. All the while the Blacksmith shop continued to grow into a full fledged machine shop as horses and buggies were on their way out.

Even working insane hours in the shop he never gave up the farm, he started up a butcher shop to supply meat to the town, a small dairy for fresh milk. cream and butter mostly for the family, but it grew to insane proportions.
As well he started up a small apiary for honey, the bees were his pride and joy, he always called them his little buggers. Besides clover would grow well in the swampy land and made for both good honey and feed for the dairy cattle. The man never once missed a beat.

However this post is not so much about my grandfather as it is about what he taught me.

First of all he taught me to never let some one else do for you that which you can do for yourself, that has always been very helpful. He also taught me how to shoot and never waste a bullet. I’m not to sure if that was such a good thing as when I joined the US army in 1968 at the tender age of 17 they saw what I could do and put me through Special Forces Sniper training. In the years from the latter part of 1968-to the beginning of 1971 I harmed a lot of people that had never harmed me, they simply wanted their own country back.. I don't think my Grandfather approved of what I had done but at least he never mentioned it other than to say that we all have to live with out own demons. It is a part of my life that I wish I could undo, alas I cannot.

More importantly He also taught me how to listen to the world, and I don't mean cars and radios and such, I mean the real world and nature. I remember one day while were in the bush waiting for a tagged bee to return so that we could establish a bee line to the hive in order that we could collect the Queen and her minions and take them home to our apiary. As we were sitting on a stump my Granddad asked me what I could hear? I listened and heard nothing and told him as much, I'll never forget the look of disappointment in his eyes,
When he asked me "you mean you hear nothing at all?” and I had to admit I heard nothing after all we were alone in the forest what was there to hear? He then put his hand on my shoulder and said you mean you can't hear the wind whispering though the trees, you can't hear the love songs of the crickets and the buzzing of the bee's or the cymbal of sun sound pinging off of that rock? You mean you can't hear your Grandmother as she worries about you?
He then said my good god boy there's a whole symphony out there playing just for you and you won't open your ears to hear it. Now I was 7 years old at the time and didn't really understand what he was trying to tell me.

It was the next year when he sent me out into the bush to find a new hive as we had lost one of ours . Now just sitting there with my compass and stopwatch waiting for the third bee I had tagged to return so that I could triangulate were the hive was, something strange happened.
My ears seemed to open up and what I had thought to be silence was absolutely deafening. All I could hear was the breeze rustling through the leaves, the sounds of insects going about their daily business, the birds calling to one another, the sun bouncing off of the leaves and rocks and yes I could hear my Grandmother worrying about me. I knew that I must get home soon.

Later that afternoon I told my Granddad what had happened to me and that now I knew what he had meant. The look of joy on his face cannot be described, he then took my hand and shook it as he would shake the hand of an adult and said “welcome this place you will never be alone again, you have finally woken from a long sleep”.

What sleep I asked? He said the “sleep of ignorance” he said “the music was always playing for you but you chose not to listen, now go tell your Grandmother she has been waiting along time for you to awaken”.

The thing about all of this is that he was right I have never really been alone since, and for that I say Thank You Grandfather and I miss your wisdom.

And your gentle manner and I thank you for giving me something that so many others do not have a True Love for all of nature.

As always your Grandson

p.s. My Grandfather died at an age of 104 years and worked untill he was 98.

A winters worth of oak

2009-01-04T23:37:00.004-06:00

2008-12-30T16:18:00.000-06:00

Okilie dokilies:
Since I have been asked to recount my life of crime and subsequent retribution whilst living for the first few weeks in merry ole dirty as scum on a floor mop England,(lord but I hated that place) here goes as they say Nothin.

As mentioned, I worked for a short time for my brother in law who was for lack of a better word best described as a Villain, Thug, Scoundrel, Thief, Rogue, Rascal, Brigand, Pickpocket, Swindler, Absconder of things not his and generally of the light fingered Gentry. Having said that I feel that I must also add that he was one of the nicest human beings that I have ever known, and certainly one of the most generous and popular. It seemed to me at the time that there was not one, not one bar of the 27,000 bars in London at that time where he was not known intimately by both staff and custom. In many ways I do miss the fool.

Now to partially vindicate that which He, we,(he will henceforth referred to as Len, simply because that was his name) did, I feel that it is necessary to give some back ground on the real-estate and squatter situation and laws that were in effect in England at that time. Wrapped up simply the squatter laws could best summed up as stupid, absurd and just plain nutz. For instance the laws stated quite clearly, that if one left their place of residence unlocked for ANY length of time as in just going down to the local store for a loaf of bread and left the door unlocked and there was no one else home, that dwelling could then be declared abandoned. Now lets say that I happened to see you leave and not lock the door, I could then move into YOUR house and declare squatter’s rights as the tenement had indeed been left vacant. Now here’s the really weird part, and I shit you not, by using Legal means it would take you six months to have me evicted from YOUR HOUSE because I declared squatters’ rights. Again I say ” I shit you not”.

I imagine that these laws were incased at a time somewhere in the distant past when British laws made some small modicum of sense, (somewhere around the year -02, or thereabouts ) anyhoos they were and perhaps still are on the books.

Now as stated my brother in law worked for a land developer in London who had by virtue of these laws a Huge problem with squatters and the eviction of same. Now I must add that the vast majority of these fine people were not indigent or generally homeless folk, but in more cases than not were travelers. Just young tourists gone walkabout in Europe an needed a place to crash and would pass the reins on to the next bunch that were passing through when it came time for them to move on and find digs elsewhere. I might also add that more than a goodly number of these fine folk hailed from Oz or new Zealand. Just saying.

One day Len called on me and told me that we were to persuade a group of art students at an art school to vacate as rent had not been paid for in excess of one year and the building was scheduled for renovation by the owner. The problem was that the staff of said art school perhaps had seen the writing on the wall and had absconded previously, leaving the students to fend for themselves. Now we all know how art students fair, not worth a shit, like not two nickels to rub together at the very best of times. But no matter the deal was pay up or get out. They of course couldn’t pay up, what with Christi’s and Sotheby’s being such assholes about selling their objects d’e art an all.

Now as it turned out this house had belonged to the British artist John Singer Sargent and was sort of a holy grail to these artists and as such the school had kept a very low profile fearing that the city of London would turn it into a heritage site or somesuch. One day one of the students let slip to my brother in law that the house had indeed belonged to Sargent, myself knowing Sargent like a fish knows from a bicycle paid no attention. Len however had heard of this wannabe artist called Sargent and said to me “we’re coming back here tonight.”

Later after he had picked me up and we had arrived back at said now deserted art school, I asked wtf are we doing here and wtf do we want?

Pointing up at the ceiling in the main room he whispers in my ear” oi I bet we get a few bob fer that”.

I looked up and on the ceiling was a huge painting set in a plaster bond, Yuh know one of those fancy plaster framey thingys. Don’t ask what the painting was about cause I don’t remember ok, just suffice it to say that it was BIG. I said wtf are we going to do with it? He said get it down. I said How? He said don’t be a git, we got ladders here and plenty of tools in the car. I said OK.

Back from the car, pry bars in hand we ascend aforementioned ladders left by aforementioned art wannabe students. What did art students need huge great ladders for you might well ask , well they needed them to climb up on to pour plaster into huge great moulds for statues is why. Now I feel the need to mention that the British in their infinite wisdom felt the need to have really high ceilings like about 14foot high in the main room which is what this was.14 foot high not good for a person that has a deadly fear of heights, and rickety ladders at that. Anyway we are up there with our pry bars, chip chip chip, pry pry pry. Len is saying don’t fuck it up. This thing is thick and heavy much like flooring linoleum and has about a million nails in it to hold it to the fucking ceiling and this asshole is telling me not to fuck it up. After awhile by virtue of it’s own weight this thing starts to pull itself free from the ceiling and comes crashing down to the floor. Poooof in a cloud of dust fucking near knocking me off of my rickety ladder.

I said to Len OK it’s down and it all went quite well I think, now what?
He says lets roll it up. I say OK
We roll this Huge great carpet sort of thing up. I say “now what” Len says “lets put it in this back room”
We drag push and pull this leviathan into the back room and Len locks the door.
I say “now what” Len says “we go have a few pints” I say “OK works fer me”.

Now unbeknownst to me after Len dropped me off at home he called his boss and tells him that if the cleanup crews get there early to make sure to tell them not to remove the painting in the back room as he , that would be Len has laid claim to it. Yeah right.

In the morning we get back to claim our booty, me of course not knowing what said booty really was, after all but Len had said it might be worth a few bob, whatever the fuck that was.

Anyways we get to said art school and there is a large van from some art restoration or other parked outside with security no less, and there are five men wearing white gloves carrying out this rolled up thing like it was King Tuts Mummy or something. Lens boss was there as well, Len said WTF’s going on, Len’s boss just said Thankyou very much and I’ll see that you get a bonus for this one. I still didn’t get it. It wasn’t till sometime later that I got it. What we had done and what we had lost, I’m still drinking to try and forget that part of my past. I’ve pleaded and pleaded but NOBODY will forgive me I hope. Wink

There was more but my tears shorted out the keyboard.

The saddness was Total at the loss of things that might have been

2008-12-23T10:49:00.002-06:00

Yes I know that I really should get back to Alex and Catherine but this is really important.
Well it's not really important as a matter of fact it's not worth a shit but it's my blog and I'll damn well post this if I want to.

I was over at Mr. Nobody’s over the Yule time thingy and I made some small comment about good Scotch, which I really do like, btw. Oh fuck "like it" I love it and I drink it a lot, but only for medicinal purposes you understand, I'm a very sick puppy and I need lots of medication.

Anywhoos Mr. Notamobster chimed in something about imbibing with a friend and 44 year old Glen Livet. This was just plain cruel, I mean to say this to a man who is forced to drink Livet that is by any standard adolescent at best, why it's only basked in the cask for a paltry twenty years, a mere babe in the wood so to speak.

Many years ago while living in the UK I went on a tour of Scottish Distilleries with a friend who was an importer of fine spirits for the Café Royal in London. Now this was not a tour of the main stream distilleries but rather a tour of small out of the way distilleries who serviced perhaps 40 or 50 local pubs and had done so in many cases for perhaps hundreds of years. The aim of these places had never been to be big like the Glen Livets or Glen Fidicks but rather just to be the very best. Most of their products are not exported outside of the general local in which they are made. The exception would be a few cases sold to specialty houses like the Café Royal, The Savoy or other fine hotels in Europe.

Oh and what a tour it was, to be taken down into the storage cellars, to see casks of Scotch that I had never heard the name of, and then to be offered a wee dram but only a wee dram from a dust covered cask in the very back of the cellar. A cask as I was told had been placed there by the present owner’s great great great grandfather. My God what a privilege and such an honor, and Oh the taste, truly a nectar of the gods.

You see the tradition in Scottish distillers is that when a fellow takes over the business from his father his first few casks are set in the back and never bottled, sort of a family history thing. They say it’s to keep them humble but I’ve never met a humble Scotsman yet so it must be something else.

No matter this post is not about Scotch, its about Cognac, two bottles of 152-year-old Napoleon Courvoisier VSOP Cognac to be more precise and the pain of losing it along with my dignity.

It all started when I moved to England with my wife who was from London, to do some work in a Bioresearch lab at the royal Academy of Science.
As luck would have it the time frame was off by a few weeks and my lab was not yet quite finished so I was given the choice of standing around doing nothing or leave for two weeks and come back to a finished lab. I took the latter choice.

Now I had nothing to do but putter around London, a town I might add that I had taken an immediate dislike to and I would like to think that the feeling was mutual. To me living in London was at best like washing ones feet in dirty water, then taking said dirty water calling it beer and drinking it. And lets not get started on what passes for food in England, suffice it to say that the first decent meal that I had in the first six months was when the first McDonalds opened up in central London, YUK. It’s a wonder that that shit passes at all.

So as I had nothing to do my brother in law asked me if I would like to help him out for awhile, I said yes. I should have known better as my brother in law could best be described as a Thug or as they say in London a Minder. He worked for a huge land developer in central London and as such his job was to remove or evict squatters from deserted buildings that were to be renovated. At the time London had a huge squatter problem so there was no shortage of work.

One day after giving a bunch of people the boot we were in the process of chucking their stuff out onto the street when I saw a small box, I picked it up and it clinked, yuh know that bottle sound. I opened it up and low and behold inside were TWO bottles of Napoleon Courvoisier VSOP Cognac wax sealed and stamped 1866. This was the year of bottling, the real age was some forty years older but no matter as Cognac once bottled does not improve with age as the alcohol content is to high. So like who the hell cares if it gets any better or not?

I asked my brother in law what I should do with the bottles and he said "you found them and if You don’t take em I will".. Then after weighing the morality crap for all of twenty seconds I took them.

Later that night back at my bil’s I placed them on the mantle to be admired until my wife and I could find our own flat. A few days later after a long days work kicking homeless people out of their hovels I returned home to find that my Little nieces and nephews (bless their little souls) had decided to help mommy clean house, more precisely to clean the bathroom floor. Now any reasoning creature would look under the sink for cleansers with which to clean bathroom floors but as we all know children are not reasoning creatures, hell most of the time they are just barely human. So where did they look for cleanser? Under the sink? Not on your fucking life did they look under the sink. Nooooooo they looked up at the fireplace mantle and there was the object of their quest, not one but TWO bottles of the finest bathroom floor cleaner this world had ever seen.

I don’t know which was worse , losing the Cognac or listening to my wife and sister in law cackling and holding their sides to keep them from splitting as I crawled around the bathroom whimpering and licking the floor. It’s not a pretty thing to see a grown man weep all the while screaming the words ALL GONE ALL GONE Oh great 80 proof spirit why haste thou forsaken me? Over and over again.

2008-12-14T06:10:00.009-06:00

Okie dokies, lets get started, firstly a little history lesson to Nobody in particular. I did not invent corrugation as that was done many years ago I believe by a Swiss Monk of Irish and Greek extraction named El Corridor Francisco de Ribbo while trying to perfect a automated noodle machine for an all you can eat reindeer fast food outlet in Lapland. Thus endeth the lesson.

These are passive solar panels that can be made by anyone with even the most basic skills, however don’t let the term passive fool you as the amount of heat produced by these panels can be quite impressive, as in enough to fry an egg. Therefore a few safeguards have been built in to prevent damage from over heating. The channels increase the surface area so that each 24" panel has a surface area somewhere in the region of a 48"x 96" flat panel. So two 24"panels =a surface area of some 64 square feet of Flat Black and that’s quite a lot. Now if you have ever tried to walk barefoot on a black surface like pavement in the summertime you’ll start to understand what I mean. Same thing applies here as the solar heat is let in but because of the thermopane shield none is lost back to the outside.

They work by convection and only in the daytime so are not designed or meant to totally replace conventional heat systems. These panels work by taking cool floor air heating it and then transferring it back into the house via the ceiling duct.

However my log house of some 3,500sq feet has these panels covering the entire south wall30’x30’ high with a peaked cathedral ceiling staged in pairs the dimensions of which are centre 24" wide by 3o' high staging down to 12’ and even at –40c on a sunny day NO other heat source is required during the daytime. As a matter of fact most of the time too much heat is conducted into the house in the winter and excess heat is dumped by means of a in duct fan into a insulated 8’x8’x30’ underground granite rock pit which is used to store heat. This stored heat is then transferred to the house during the night by means of a squirrel cage fan in my central heating system. These panels also work all summer to heat up the rocks in the pit. The rocks then cary enough heat to last for all but the worst winters Manitoba can offer.
This method however is not normally available to most town dwellers so it is best to consider these panels a supplemental daytime heat source.

The dimensions are as follows, 24"x 96"x 5" deep. per panel

Materials:
½" plywood to make the containment box inside dimensions 24"x96"
2 sheets sealed Plexi glass although real glass is better as Plexi glass tends to yellow, however real glass is more expensive and is prone to hail damage. Therefore shutters would be advised.
High density Styrofoam 96"x24"x 5"
PVC tubing and connectors
Tin for in house ducts.
Tube silicone sealant for sealed Plexi glass unit and general sealing
One can urethane foam, available at any hardware store.
Flat black latex paint for painting Styrofoam channels.
Masking tape 1" wide.
Lacquer thinner or acetone
One spritzer bottle
Construction: The box
One open plywood box 25" x 96" no biggie
Strips of aluminum ¼" for sealed Plexi glass unit available at window manufactures, or simply have them make the unit for you.
Holes cut for entry and exit ducts ceiling duct 3"x 20", floor duct 20"x4"
Holes for connector ducts 4.5" round intake 4" outlet floor , 3.5" round intake 4" outlet
Tin intake and exhaust ducts floor duct 20"x4" ceiling 20"x 3" one each per two panels complete with mounting flanges available at any heating supply shop.
Cutting the channels in the Styrofoam, I used a large bed Cincinnati milling machine and a 5"cove cutter to mill the channels, this however is not a machine most do it yourselfers have sitting in the garage Soooo I have come up with a different method, several in fact.
1.Channels can be cut using a large router a jig and a large half round bit or a table saw with the Styrofoam set at an angle to the blade and making multiple passes.
2. Or using the masking tape starting at the edge of the foam lay strips spaced at 5" intervals, then using the spritzer bottle spray a small amount of lacquer thinner or acetone onto the surface of the foam. The acetone will dissolve the foam between the strips of masking tape, spray in stages and don’t use too much. Keep dissolving the foam to a depth of 2.75". This will give you a nice concave channel. And Please do this OUTSIDE, as braincells are hard come by, just ask any politician.

Now turn over the foam sheet and cut the end air transfer channels, these can be cut with a knife or saw , any gaps will later be filled with expanding urethane foam so make them a little larger than the PVC tubes.
Install the tin ducts into the box, remember each panel only has one duct either top or bottom, unless only one panel is used then it would have both intake and exhaust ducts.
Install the PCV tubes and the foam sheet, mark the tubes for cutting, remove tubes and using a jig saw cut the tubes to match the channels in the foam block.
Replace the foam block and using the Urethane foam seal the tubes in place.
Paint all foam surfaces Flat Black.
Draw a bead of silicone all the way around the edge then place a ¼" spacer around the edge of the unit.
Again draw a bead of silicone on top of the spacer and place the sealed plexi Glass unit on top.
Also seal the PVC tubes where they enter or exit the box with silicone.
DONE.

Now simply cut holes in walls of house to match the two tin ducts and fasten panels to the outside wall with standard fasteners. seal around ducts with insulation.

A few more things, seeing that these panels put the warm air at the ceiling a ceiling fan is recommended to bring the heated air back down to the floor.
Also a in duct fan can be installed to reverse the air flow direction so that the heated air is exhausted to the floor but this simply brings in another step and a ceiling fan is cheap and is a good investment.

Earlier I mentioned some safeguards, these panels can get quite hot, even in the winter time, this is why light colored Styrofoam is used, if the temp gets too high the Styrofoam will start to melt breaking up the black paint and exposing the light colored foam underneath. Hence it is self regulating to a certain extent.

Also in the summertime these panels must be taken down or properly shuttered.
One final word of caution, NEVER join more than two panels as the heat produced is accumulative as the second panel starts off with some of the the heat of the first, This accumulated heat can become EXTREME,and a incoming temp of +80c on a sunny winter day is not uncommon, never underestimate the power of the sun.

More on Mr. and Mrs. Owl whoo are soon to become founding members of the Swallows Nest inc.

2008-11-19T11:34:00.004-06:00

More on Mr. and Mrs. Owl whoo are soon to become founding members of Swallows Nest Inc

Now if you scroll back a couple of pages I will try to pick up where I left off , I do this for several reasons not the least of which is in retrospect it’s funny as hell, but also because I miss them so.
Now as mentioned in the last post I had left my snowshoes at the nest site, not through forgetfulness but from I’ve got to save my ass stark terror, there are simply no words to describe the Shock and Awe that Mr. Owl instilled in me. Like I got my ass kicked. By a two pound ball of feathers and fury.

Now for any other human bird it would have been enough to have survived but as I said I am as stubborn as an Ox, so the next thing to do was study some more on owls behavior, which at the time had not been altogether hospitable. Like the welcome wagons wheels had come off and it had hit the ditch or snow. Depending on you point of view, from a bystanders point must have been a Hoot (pun intended).

Any Hoos back in the safety of my Owl proof cabin ,heart racing I went back to the books and found out that people who study Owls and other really fucking dangerous birds use helmets and lots of protective gear like heavy leather gloves, silly me for thinking otherwise, but I still had a pocketful of dead mice a plan had to be made . The wheels were turning the gears were grinding, Yes I could do this noble albeit stupid thing I had the technology I had the equipment I had the will, I would succeed.

I formulated a plan I would use my spare snow shoes big Algonquin buggers great for caring cargo over flat land not so good down a 30% slope but what the hell.

The next morning
I put on my heavy sheep shin parka, a pair of heavy welding gloves, and a snowmobile helmet grabbed my big snowshoes and went out side (dam forgot the mice) back inside to get said mice. Now I was ready for any jealous male, Owl or otherwise. God I’m going courting and I must have looked a site.

So off I trudge to the edge of the lawn, and there it is the 30% slope. Like I said Algonquin snowshoes are great for flat snow but not worth a shit on a slope. Well I take the first step and wheeee I might just as well used a toboggan. Ass over tee kettle all the way down bouncing off of Oak trees, BTW oak trees don’t move. Fast forward, bottom of hill still alive and looking only slightly stupid but still a man on a mission.

Now for some words of advice when using snow shoes always carry a walking stick or a ski pole for it is almost impossible to get up without one if you fall down, needless to say in my haste to woo the Owls I had forgotten mine. It was not a pleasant site.(fast forward) quick dead mouse check yep all accounted for, only 50 meters(that’s Canadian for yards) to go. And no not the yards that you live on this is a unit of measurement for us hicks north of the 49th.

Trudge trudge trudge finally at bottom of Owl tree, and yes I removed the snow shoes again and started up the ladder, reached the top and there she was the object of my quest sitting there in all her majesty like a Queen on her throne. I looked around for Mr. Owl he was nowhere to be seen so I flipped up the face shield on my helmet, and said Hello Mrs. Owl. She just stared at this strange apparition who had appeared before her somehow strangely familiar, and yet the fool who had appeared before her yesterday had looked somehow different. It might have been the helmet it might have been the sheepskin parka or it might even have been the welders gloves, but I tend to think it was the last time she had seen me I was falling shit over knuckles and running for my life.

Never the less here I was , and as any good guest I reached into my pocket and presented my gift (so it wasn’t a bottle of Channel No 5) she could have used it ,more of this in a later post. It was a dead Mouse pretty classy eh? Like when’s the last time someone came up and offered you a dead mouse?She eyed the mouse then she eyed me, nudged the mouse and gulp it was gone, dam I was home free with this chick.. However things were about to change, as hubby was on his way home.And home he came, with a vengeance, he hit the back of my helmet dropping his hard earned mouse in the process, this I believe only pissed him off more as he beat me about the head and shoulders with a ferocity that I had never before seen , his attack was unrelenting as he soared and swooped down to the attack.

I however was well protected in my not so medieval suit of armor, and I allowed him to burn himself out, which thankfully he did after what seemed like only an eternity.
After the initial attack was over he resigned himself to sit on a branch not more than three feet away never taking his beautiful but full of hate eye’s off of me, always ready at a moments notice to resume the attack, whatever the consequences might be. I had to respect this magnificent creature who for the first time in his life had gone up against an adversary twenty times his size whom he could not drive off and yet he stayed, ready to die to protect his mate and nest. This I thought was indeed a bird of honor, and worthy of the utmost respect. I also felt some sense of shame and humility wondering if I too, would have had such courage.

Having pondered this for a moment I wondered what I could do to show him that I was not the enemy , and meant him nor his family any harm. I decided on a plan of action and with that thought in mind I descended the ladder and retrieved what I had thought to be a mouse that he had dropped during the attack. As it turned out it was not a mouse at all but a fine red squirrel, a fitting prize indeed for his most beautiful mate. Much better I thought than the crummy mice I had brought. Picking up the Squirrel again, I climbed the ladder upon reaching the top I took a leap of faith (no not back into the snow been there done that). However I flipped up my face shield and said Hello Mr. Owl I believe that you dropped this while you were welcoming me to your wonderful home, and as a quest with only honorable intentions I feel that it is only right that I return this fine prize to you. He just stared, as did Mrs. Owl. I then, placed the prize on the branch that he was perched on. Again he just stared. Wondering what manner of beast is this?
Many minutes passed as I admired these two wonderful and somewhat confused creatures, always ready at a moments notice to flip down my face shield as my face was my only vulnerable part, just in case Mr. Owl decided that I had outworn my not so welcome presents.

Then after many more minutes of mutual reflection the most wonderful and I must say unexpected thing happened. For the first time since my appearance Ms. Owl turned her head away from me looked at her mate and gave a gentle hoot he however paid no attention she hooted again and shuffled around on the nest as if to say Well you going to bring me that Squirrel or do I have to get it myself? Then for the first time he turned his head and glanced at his mate then back at me, she hooted again and after a few moments he seemed to come to a decision. Perhaps this otherworldly creature could be endured for a short time longer as he was sure it could be driven off if only he were to apply himself more forcefully as he had done to the fool yesterday. Although this leviathan in no way resembled the chickenshit that he had driven off so successfully the day before and yet there was something familiar about this creature.

Perhaps it was time for him to ,to take a leap of faith, and with that thought in mind he gracefully bent down and picked up the squirrel in his beak and with hardly a flutter of wings jumped onto the nest besides his mate and offered her his prize. She took it in an instant and proceeded to tear it apart as if I weren’t even there. I felt at that moment that something very special had happened and it was time for me to take my leave and allow them to finish lunch such as it was. With that I reached into my pocket and placed the remaining five dead mice on the edge of the nest and bid them farewell telling them that I would return in the morning weather permitting.
I climbed down the ladder put on my snowshoes, picked up the spare pair and headed up the hill feeling a sense of joy and wonder. I knew I was well on my way to making new friends in my new home. However I still had traps to set and I mustn’t dawdle. For like they say mice is where you find them, I also plinked a few squirrels that I was sure to please. I then sat back with a bottle of wine to reflect on the day’s adventures which I thought with only a few minor setbacks had gone well indeed. I was content.

Next time just a bump on the head

Getting to know your Neighbors

2008-11-18T04:36:00.004-06:00

I will begin where I left off in the last post.

However all good things must come to an end and this was no exception. It was at this moment in time that Mr. Owl returned home with a mouse in his beak. I say Beak with a certain amount of writer prerogative, as it should read (Sharp as fucking hell weapon of mass destruction sort of thing) not to mention his for what in politer company would be called Talons. However as I have never been accused of being polite I will describe them as they were Carbide tipped sharp as a fucking Diamond things with only one purpose and that was to maim and Kill Me.

Having said this here are the don’t

(1) Don’t wear a toque even if it’s bright red it offers about as much protection as a condom stretched over your head, and no not that head.

(2) do not remove gloves and put them in your pocket just because it’s easier to get dead mice out of your other pocket using your bare hands. Also wooly mitts are NO protection against the previously mentioned Carbide tipped sharp as fucking diamonds things. Also don’t for one little minute think you are going to win their hearts with your radiant smile and your sparkling personality, Take it from me it don’t work.

Now the do’s

(1) Medieval armor would be good you know the kind the Knights of old wore, chain mail would also be good ,and I’m not talking a chain email letter here . Failing in getting a suit of armor which would make climbing a ladder somewhat of a pain, Kevlar would be a good idea. Also having a metal trashcan at the bottom of the ladder, that you can fit into would also be a good idea. Perhaps a bazooka and a flame thrower would be good but would hardly be considered to be neighborly. Also unlike me do the research, and I mean all the research, like the part that says this is a GRAND PREDATOR that will take on anything and any one that gets close to it’s nest and or territory.

Now back to Mr. Owl who has returned home after a successful hunting trip, you know bringing home the bacon or in this case a mouse. He landed on a branch about 6’ from the nest and just stared at me as only an Owl can stare, not sure as what to make of this strange apparition that was at his nest step. Now being the jovial sort of fellow I am I said Hello Mr. Owl, he just stared. I in my naiveté thought this is going well, better than I could possibly have hoped for. I say now to one and all I could not have possibly been more wrong in that assumption. He ruffled his feathers and shook the mouse as if to get Mrs. Owls attention, However it seemed that Mrs. Owl only had eyes for me, and the Two mice I had delivered. I smiled at Mr. Owl this is also not a good idea as it shows teeth and to a predator, this is a sign of aggression. This can also be referred to as kiss your ass goodbye.

Now I suppose it was adding a straw to an already broken back when Mrs. Owl reached out and snatched one of the mice I had brought, she flipped it up and gulp it was gone. This was it, it was the moment of truth his maleness was now in doubt a line had to be drawn in the sand or in this case snow and God dammit that line had been crossed. The attack came suddenly without warning, the mouse was dropped, and what ensued can only be described as Shock and Awe. He came at me like a black smith with hammer and tongs.

I tried in vane with apologies (no good) the trip down half of the ladder consisted of me trying to pull my hood up over my head and protecting my hands,(no gloves remember) and him ripping down my hood. The second half of the trip went a little quicker with me falling off of the ladder and falling ass over tea kettle the last ten feet into the snow. Now I would have thought that would have been enough but oh no not for this Owl . He was going to kick my ass and kick it good. Now remember that I had taken off my snow shoes to ascend said ladder, and the snow was about chest deep, fine to fly over not so good to run through, The bugger would just not give up. He chased me up a thirty degree grade hill through chest deep snow all the while attacking my head and hands. Now I might add that at one point I managed to crawl into the snow and retrieve my gloves, helped a bit. When I emerged from the snow he was still there and the attack resumed. It continued until he had chased me all the way to my front door. After I had gotten inside he flew passed the house a few times , I suppose just to make sure his point had been well taken, then he left I imagine to have a Wooo the hell was that ? And what the hell what the hell was it doing here sort of thing.. I do so hope that I didn’t cause a Doctor Phil moment.

However, I had left my snow shoes and ladder, these I needed and plans had to be made in order to retrieve them, not to mention I’m as stubborn as an Ox and I really wanted to make friends with these Magnificent creatures that shared my world with me.

Next time More on Mr. And Mrs. Owl who are soon to become Alexander and Catharine the Great horned Owls as well as Founding Members of The Swallows nest & co.

oh and by the by click on the pic, this is the view from the edge of my lawn and about 100 metres down in the middle of the pic is where their nest was.

The Do's and Don't of welcome Wagoning Owls

2008-11-17T08:44:00.002-06:00

Now with my heart racing and my mind full of the adventures I would have with my new found Neighbors I trundled off through the snow to study and learn all I could about Great horned Owls. Should have spent more time learning. Now I knew owls ate mice so far so good as I have no shortage of mice and voles around the property and I promptly went about the task of setting traps in the barn ,shed really. By morning I had a goodly supply of mice all with their necks neatly broken, this is a good idea as a pocketful of live mice can be a bit trying to say the least.

Now I was all set had on my aforementioned winter stuff a pocketful of mice that I was sure would please Mrs. Owl to no end. Now all I needed was my snow shoes and my trusty aluminum ladder with which to ascend to their lofty nest.. As I neared the nest my heart was full of joy as I was finally going to meet some of the most beautiful creatures in my neck of the woods. I placed the ladder against the tree and extended it to just below the nest, Mrs. Owl did not fly away and I took this as a good sign, or at least a sign that she had no fear of this strange creature. I was to find out later that she had no reason to be afraid.

I now removed my snow shoes (this was both a good and bad idea) good because one cannot ascend a ladder while wearing snow shoes and bad because one cannot run in neck deep snow without them.More of that later.

Now I was all set and began to climb the ladder slowly so as not to scare Mrs. Owl as I topped the ladder and came face to face with Mrs. Owl she gave me the most bemused look. Now I know Owls really don’t have any voluntary facial muscles, but this was done mostly , no completely with the eye’s as if she simply could not believe what she was seeing . This strange creature at her front nest perch, what could it possibly want? We stared at each other for some minutes not wanting to break the magic spell of the moment, well I didn’t. Then it hit me where in the world were my manners here I had come to visit and had not even offered a gift, well that would be remedied post haste. I removed my gloves (also not a good Idea) and removed one of the mice from my pocket and placed on her nest in front of her, surely this would melt her heart and get me in like Flint. Her look of bemusement turned to one of complete astonishment, surely this was the strangest thing that had ever happened to her a strange creature bearing gifts of mice, or perhaps it was a pyramid scheme or some other scam.

At any rate noting that at least I wasn’t selling soap or cosmetics she eyed the mouse and then she eyed me, back and forth it went, surely this could not be happening surely she would wake up and it would all have been a dream, but no this was to real . I thought that perhaps the first mouse was perhaps not correct in some fashion so I offered her another. Now the look was one of utter disbelieve. Not one but two Mice. Finally she moved her wonderful head forward and nudged the second mouse as if to see if it was indeed real. Now I knew that Great horned Owls have No sense of smell what so ever so it must have been a tacit thing on her part. She then pulled her head back and did nothing, except stare at me, with an occasional glance at the mice. Well I thought was all going fairly well at least she hadn’t told me to bugger off and leave her alone.

The welcome wagon, do's and don't

2008-11-16T11:52:00.003-06:00

Several of my friends have asked me to relate some of the things that have happened to me since I moved to the bush some twelve years ago, and built the Swallows Nest. Now some of these adventures have been good, some not so much. However, I would not trade one of them for the world of the town dweller, for in my opinion that is a very boring world indeed. Mine on the other hand is filled with newness and adventure at every turn. But I digress. This Post is about my relationship with two of my best friends out here in paradise, Namely Alexander and Catherine the Great Horned Owls, and how I came to meet and then grow to love them. I might add this was not as easy as it would at first glance seem, as a matter of fact it was a real bitch. As in fact I found out what it really feels like to be an Amway sales man, or a Jehovah's witness. Not good.

Now having been a Biologist most of my adult life I have a keen understanding of the life that surrounds me, but I am also aware of my ignorance of many things. And in this case ignorance was not bliss, it seldom is I suppose.

Anyway my log house was built, and I was going to spend my first real winter in the wilds of Manitoba. All of the firewood had been cut, freezer was full of goodies, and I was all set for my retirement. Nothing to do now but sit and write books on Biology and stuff. Tiring of that I could always put on my woollies, big Assed boots, don a pair of snowshoes, and go for a walk in my valley to look for new tracks in the snow. Then one day having taken a break from the keyboard, having donned said winter stuff, as it was the middle of January, but a nice day I went for my walk and it happened not but 100 meters from my house. Low and behold I caught site of a nest high up in an old oak tree. Using my 400mm telephoto lens I could see an Owl sitting on the nest, my heart pounded. Surely this was an opportunity not to be missed as I really wanted to get to know my neighbors, and these most certainly were neighbors of the highest order.

Now I knew a fair amount of things about owls both Great and small, here are some of them. Breeding,Nesting season is in January or February when the males and females hoot to each other. When close they bow to each other, with drooped wings. Mutual bill rubbing and preening also occurs. They do not build a nest of their own but utilize the nests of other birds such as the hawk, crow and heron. They may also use squirrel nests, hollows in trees, rocky caves, clumps of witches broom, abandoned buildings, or on artificial platforms. They are extremely aggressive when defending the nest and will continue to attack until the intruder is killed or driven off. Normally, two to four eggs are laid and incubated by the female only for 26-35 days, dammit these buggers are tough! Why nest in the middle of a Manitoba winter!?! Yikes!!! The young start roaming from the nest onto nearby branches at 6 to 7 weeks, when they are called "branchers", but they cannot fly well until 9 to 10 weeks of age. They are fed for another few weeks as they are slowly weaned. Families remain loosely associated during summer before the young disperse in the autumn. Adults tend to remain near their breeding areas year-round, while juveniles disperse widely, over 250 km (150 miles) in the autumn. The same pair maintains territories for as many as 8 consecutive years, however, these Owls are solitary in nature, only staying with their mate during the nesting season. Average home ranges in various studies have been shown to be approximately 2.5 square kms (1 square mile). Having done the research most of these things I knew, the stuff in red I did not know but should have known I mean like I really should have known.

The next couple of posts will explain what NOT to do when trying to get to know, and then to love Great Horned Owls. As well as the unfettered joy of running the Gauntlet and surviving.

The Cost of things

2008-11-14T21:15:00.001-06:00

Perhaps what everyone wants is respect. But everything has a price. Nothing comes free. -The cost-benefit rule of thumb: anything may be possible, but nothing comes free. New cars, money, power, prestige, titles; the American dream to have; all of this has its cost, and the cost is not only monetary. These things come at a cost of our priorities, our perspectives of life, and the meaning that we give to our world. "Sometimes, we get lost, and try to live at any cost, but get nothing back for what we paid." goes an old song lyric. What it expresses is that sometimes we search for meaning, for reason, for respect, love, and admiration in external things, in how others perceive us. These things: the new cars, money, or the aesthetic lifestyle, the spiritual, intellectual quest etc… are suppose to somehow guarantee us others respect and admiration. We work hard at acquiring these things, and are so surprised when others simply respond haphazardly or indifferently. To respect is one thing; to expect is another.

-And on the other hand, so often we are asked to respect someone, or something, but we cannot seem to see a reason for it. We are simply required to give our respect to everything, to everyone because they exist, or they have achieved something, or perhaps nothing at all; they are merely present; they are there in front of us. We are expected to respect because we have a relationship to or with it, or them. It seems to the world that each of us has a born right to be respected regardless of what, why, or how we are. Many times money seems to be a ground for admiration and respect. If you have it, you are to be respected and revered. Position seems to require that everyone under the certain title is a minion to its every whim, wish, need, and want without question. The powerful are to be respected for their power, and the needy are to be respected for their need. We see people with money, power, position, and fame and we see the attention, and the "respect" they achieve for the things that they have, or have accomplished, and we want that for ourselves: all that they have, and the respect as well. We want the things to give us the respect that we believe we deserve. Many times the act of being poor, a victim of circumstance, or society; self-inflicted lifestyles, belief systems, or lack of, demands respect from us without question, or comment. We are victims of evils beyond our control, or of society; we belong to an accepted group with a long lineage of altruistic ideals. To make matters worse, all of this, and more, is bought and sold; taught as well, to be the ultimate goal in life. But to be respected, one must deserve respect.

Everything has a cost, but the cost is not always what we think it is. To be respected is to have respect for yourself not for what you have, who you think that you are, or who you know. To be admired is to admire yourself for who you are not for what you have achieved, where you have been, how much you have. Many times the material things that we surround ourselves with are only a façade that attracts people, like honey attracts flies. They may not care for you, but they see you for what they perceive themselves to want: the things that you have acquired. To decide upon a lifestyle for yourself is to take the responsibilities of that lifestyle for your own, but be sure to understand what those are, and what they mean. The truth is very often something extremely different than what we perceive it to be at first glance. So be sure to know what is being paid for before you lay your payment down, and be assured that there will be a payment, due upon receipt.

This is from last Spring as I didn't feel like writing today

2008-11-14T11:38:00.003-06:00

Oh My Deer Me
Oh well spring has sprung and it’s time for some Mushy posts.

I just finished a walkabout around the top ten acres of my land that is the land around my house, and it seems that my immediate family has increased by about 40 members although this figure may rise as I get to know about late arrivals.

Due to good feeding and a fairly decent winter most of my Doe’s have thrown twins and even triplets this year whoopee. Now I have more of the buggers to take care of, Oh well at least I have lots of alfalfa to feed them, but when they come to the door and knock with their hoofs at breakfast time it gets to be a little much as I don’t get up as early as the deer do,(inconsiderate assholes).

I know what your thinking That it’s my fault for teaching them to come to the door, well to that I say Pfffft as I tried to teach them to come after I was awake, but the buggers are just slow on the uptake at times. I think I will have to enroll them in the idiots class for the summer. What’s more I have to keep going outside to wipe off the wet spots they keep leaving on my living room windows and my door with their noses checking to see if I’m awake. Going to have to make a trip into town to by a case of Windex soon. And what do I get from these acts of kindness that I bestow upon these hapless creatures of my forest? Nuthin I tell you Nuthin , unless friendship is something to have, from creatures who owe me nothing at all, I guess that’s enough to be able to walk up to a Doe and be given the permission to coddle and pet her fawn, without any angst on her part. Yeah that’s enough .

As well the birds are all coming back saw a Robin today, as soon as all of the snow melts the lawn will be awash with red breast picking at whatever they pick at during this time of year as the ground is still frozen and the worms haven’t yet come out, then they will all disappear as they don’t like to nest in the forest prefer instead to nest in town Stupid birds. As said in a previous Mushy post by weeks end the greatest raptor migration on the planet will start, with Eagles , Hawks of all kinds, Kestrels, Sharp shinned , Red tailed ,Coopers, Harriers, and many more.

Then of course come the birders all with binoculars hung about their scrawny necks and glued to their buggy eye’s. Seems that they all think that MY PRIVATE property can be invaded at this time of the year just because MY lawn MY front yard has the very best view of MY valley. I say Fuck em as I like my privacy. That’s why I live where I do, go figure.

And then with the questions I get like aren’t you lonely out here all by yourself? My answer is always the same well I wasn’t till you birders showed up.

Also seems that a rather large population of Grey squirrels have moved into the vicinity they will be asked to vacate the premises post haste, as they will give my chipmunks a hard time, and I can’t have that, ChipnDale&Co. are some of my bestest buds out here.

Gobble gobble chickens

2008-11-14T11:33:00.002-06:00

A walk in Swallows woods.
I just got back from a walk in the bush and valley it was wonderful, the valley was all full of snow fog as the sun was very warm and is melting the snow so fast on the north side of the valley. I saw at least 40 Harrier Hawks this time, strange as they should all have flown south by this time of year, but we did have a very mild fall so who knows.

I also came across a bunch of wild Turkeys about 30 or so, God what stupid birds. They remind me so much of so many people that I know not the brains that god gave a Goose. However the Toms were all puffed up in their finery strutting and butting chests to try and get the Hens attention, just like human males they would sooner fight than fuck , what morons. Now I like to have them around but the bastards weigh in at around 25 pounds and raise hell with my bird feeders, but such is life in the woods. I so do like to hear them gobble in the mornings though, it's a nice sound, peace full. But they so dam dumb, but not as stupid as the hunters that try to kill them, now we are talking stupid, when they can't even out think a goddamn stupid bird, and these are people that have guns.

Back to bird turkeys I have a herd of about 90 here at the nest and I love them all even if they are stupid. At least they look nice when they strut. However you should see the young when they first fledge and try to get into the tree's that’s always good for a chuckle, it's like throwing a base ball into the tree's the silly little buggers couldn't land on a branch if their lives depended on it which it sometimes does. However they do try, they take off ,fly well enough ,head for the trees and then all one hears is a bunch of squawking and then you hear them hit the ground, and they don't even look embarrassed, then they try all over again. Funny they can perch on my deck railing easy enough, and shit all over the place, but that’s another story.

Listening helps

2008-10-07T16:46:00.001-05:00

Dear Dr. B. When Swallow and I first met I was a trainwreck waiting to happen. You had diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia and the specialists were investigating whether or not I had MS. I was suffering from dizzy spells with lights flashing in my vision and colors changing at random, for example, white would appear to be pale pink. You had figured that I was depressed because of all that was happening so you put me on Amytriptaline, a nasty little anti-depressant along with Clonazapam, another anti-depressant to aide me with sleeping problems. I had also been suffering from a buzzing of sorts in my legs and muscle twitching which you said was from the Fibro, so you put me on Gabepentine and Novo-cycloprine. Neither of which really did any good for me. At the time you also had me on Naproxen and Tylenol 3's, again no help there and all the T3's did was constipate me. More often than not I would have to use a cane to help me walk, as my legs keptfeeling like they'd give out on me. Your solution was to up my meds. I was having seizure like symptoms which the Neurologist still can't figure out, but it's pretty obvious by the MRI's that there was damage done. Nerve conduction tests have shown that there is a fair amount of damage done to my central nervous system as well. Yet no one can find the cause of any of this, and therefore can't decide on a course of action to take to control it.

Becky's Child Psychologist had diagnosed her with ADHD and Bi-polar Disorder and put her on Siroquel, she was up to 100 mg twice a day and this med had never even been tested in anyone under the age of 18. Becky was 3 and a half when first put on it! With the upping of Becky's medication she started to have breathing problems so you put her on a steroid inhaler. The more medication she got, the worse her behaviour became. As you may remember she was having terrible nightmares and acted out with friends hitting them when she didn't get her way. She was becoming incredibly abusive to the point where she broke her bed frame. She had even pulled a knife on me, threatening to dismember me and then cut herself up so much she'd bleed to death. She was 7 and a half years old at the time, this is not normal behaviour, especially after 4 years of being on behaviour modification medication! Under the care of the medical community both Becky and I were getting worse. I was at my whits end and didn't know where to go for help. I couldn't go to you or to Becky's Psychologist as the solution was always up the meds and/or add more. It was obvious to me that changes needed to be made, but I just didn't know what kind nor how to implement changes. My thinking was random at best and I couldn't figure out for myself that the medications we were on were making us worse. Considering the fact that the medical profession couldn't figure out where our problems were stemming from, it's no surprise that I couldn't either.

This is where Swallow comes in. After we had been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, I took him to my place to meet Becky. She was her usual self with the talking back and bad attitude, refusing to listen to anything I had to say. Quite frankly, I'm surprised Swallow didn't cut and run right there. But he stayed and watched us as we interacted, he snooped through my fridge and cupboards to see what kinds of foods we were eating, he looked at all our medications lined up on the coffee table, and he realized that we both needed a metaphorical slap up side the head. He went home that night and thought of what exactly was needed to put us onto a path of healing, and the following weekend when we got together again, spent a lot of time explaining his thoughts to me. He asked me 7 times if I really wanted his help, I was lost, of course I wanted help! That last time he asked, I told him to knock it off already and help me, I had answered that question often enough in my opinion.

The first thing he told me was that I had to listen and implement everything he said to do. Even though I didn't quite know what he was talking about, I agreed. The way I saw it was, "what could it hurt?". He told me that I needed to get rid of the medications, most specifically, the anti-depressants and Becky's Siroquel. That had me worried as I was somewhat suicidal, and I was scared that if I took Becky off her med's, just how much worse was she going to get. After all, they were supposedly helping her.

As it was, I had asked for his help and had promised to listen to what he had to say. So, I flushed my anti-depressants down the toilet and proceeded to ween Becky off her meds. Then I had to change what we were eating. I got rid of most of my processed and canned foods, and tossed out the sugary cereals and snacks. I bought fresh fruits and vegetables along with meats and Swallow proceeded to teach me how to cook real food as opposed to the restaurant style of cooking I had been doing till then. School lunches for Becky included all 4 food groups and the cookies or whatever for desert were over with. I went back to canning my own fruits and juices as opposed to buying the processed high sugar stuff. Bread was no longer bought, at least not white bread, I started to bake whole wheat bread instead. I also learned how to make rye, french, and sour-dough bread. Instead of instant oatmeal or high sugared cereals, breakfast became oatmeal from scratch, or cereals such as Special K or Corn Flakes. White sugar was pretty much not a part of our diet anymore and was replaced with Demorara sugar. Pop, candy, chocolate bars,chips, etc became a thing of the past. Yes, I still buy those things as a treat on occassion, but they are no longer part of our daily diet. Powdered cream and margarine were also gotten rid of and replaced with whipping cream and real unsalted butter. Salt was also pretty much taken out of my cooking and only used as an additive at the table, and even that to a much lesser degree than what had been.

Within a week I quit taking the rest of the meds I had been on and with Becky also being without medication, I noticed a huge improvement in her personality. We got along much better and her nightmares ended. I took her to see her shrink one last time, and she was shocked at the change in Becky. She asked me what I had done, so I told her the meds were gone, diet was changed and discipline was implemented. I told her that Swallow had taught me that to be healthy there were 3 things needed. Those are a healthy diet, discipline, and consistancy. By discipline, I don't mean beatings or anything like that, I mean that there have to be consequenses for actions taken, and routines had to be established and adhered to. I had to take back control of my life, and with Swallow's help I did exactly that.

When I was done relating to the shrink all that had happened in the last 2 weeks since last seeing her, she said good for you and keep it up. I seriouslywanted to tell her thanks for making our lives worse over the previous 4 years, instead of better, but I held my tongue and just said that was the plan. Now 3 years later, Becky and I have established an early morning work-out schedule along with an after school walking program. This combined with healthy eating hasn't curred me from my Fibromyalgia, but it's now under control with very few flare up's. Becky however, is a completely different person as you well know. Anyone I had known 3 years ago wouldn't recognize us as the same people should we run into them today. You wanted to know why I wasn't requesting refills for my meds, well that is why. Now, I want to know why no one in the medical profession even considered suggesting that processed foods and sugar could be so toxic to a person. Had that been mentioned to me when all this started, our problems would never have gotten to be what they were. No we're not perfect people, but we sure are a lot healthier, and Becky is actually pleasant to be around. I'm not ripping out my hair every 5 minutes and I really can't remember when Becky last threw a temper tantrum, let alone destroyed anything. I just wish everyone who has what the specialists dub problem children, would be taught exactly what Swallow taught me.

Life would be so much easier all the way around if healthy living were truly taught and stressed by the medical profession. Sincerely,Skye

2008-06-25T16:10:00.002-05:00

As I have said in a previous post here in southern Mb we have the largest Raptor Migration in the world, and as luck would have it the flyway is right past my property.

It is truly a wonderful site to see thousands of Eagles take the trip north to nest, the last ones to come stay for the summer and nest not far from my house in a huge old poplar tree, sadly one of these years the nest will fall as it is getting absolutely massive as they build on the old nest each year. I would think that I could heat my house for several weeks with the wood they have amassed IN that nest. it is absolutely amazing the size of timber they can carry up to make their nests.Hope it last through the season.

However this post is not about Eagles but rather some other friends that I have made while living on top of the valley. Namely the Turkey Vultures whom I have come to call the Crypt Keepers. As I have stated earlier every year they make their appearance between the 1st and the 5th of May. Always seven I am convinced that they are bachelors as there are never more in fall, but when they arrive they always soar over my house for a few days as if just to say Hi Bud how you been,and then I call out to them and wave then they tip their wing as if a gentle salute for the welcome back. Their names are Herman, Eddie ,Grandpa,Uncle Festus, as well there is Edgar , Allen and Poe.

I think they are attracted to me as my head is as bald as theirs, but it might have something to do with the fact that I also bring home road kill deer from time to time, and lay it out on my front lawn for them to feed on,and for me to watch,It's a win win.
Contrary to popular believe Vultures do not like rotten meat,and they like it relatively fresh. Slightly tender but not rotten.It really is funny to see them gorge themselves to the point that they can't fly just hop around on my lawn till they take a big Crap then all is well. except for the clean up,(that would be my job)but no big deal. They can clean up an entire Large deer carcase in one day, nothing but bones to bury(that would also be my job)btw.
Sometimes they sit on the peak of my house as it gives them a great view as well as a great take off point. Now to the point of this post.

A few years ago I had a Lady friend over for the weekend. Now as it happens my place is a clothing not allowed in the summer time place so we were out side catching some rays in our birthday suits on the lawn belting back a few . I just happened to look back towards the house and saw Three of my friends Sitting on the peak of the house watching us. Not sure which ones they were as they all look pretty much alike,but it matters not. Anyway I just mentioned to my friend that she should slowly turn around and look at the peak of the house. This she did, Then she said Fuck you've got Vultures sitting on the roof of your house. To which I replied yeah it's neat isn't it. Then she says well yeah But doesn't it say something about the Weirdo that lives here?

To this I did not have an answer.Sadly we are no longer together as she had a great bod, but no love for my friends they just gave her the creeps, and as anyone who doesn't like my friends can go as I told her as I gave her a vibrator as a parting gift to go fuck herself. My aren't I fickle, well not really,
But the way I see it no piece of ass is worth my friends who come to visit even when they don't have to, even if it's just to say Hi.
A piece of ass is Cum and gone friends stay.
Nuff said.

2008-06-25T14:13:00.004-05:00

Mankind strikes an unholy bargain at birth. The contract reads: “Give me life and I will agree to death.” We awaken in life to find ourselves trapped on a boat floating down an uncharted river with a horrible waterfall at its end. We possess no map to tell us where we shall face the falls, but we know the falls are there. We know no one ever survives the trip and we are afraid, yet we cannot get off the river. We can only moment-by-moment, attempt to avoid its treacherous rapids, its hazardous back currents. Despite the exquisite beauty of the river and its placid bends, often we fail to enjoy the trip for we know that just ahead, perhaps around the next bend, we shall face the falls, the horrible falls.

I have lived alone for most parts of my life and have often felt lonely, even though a host of living things surround me. My loneliness as always is born of my separation from myself, and therefore my separation from all other living things as well. I remember when the summer is gone, when the robins had gone, and when the shy slate-colored finches had gathered and gone. When the blue harebells have dried and twisted toward the earth, and when the parachute seeds of the dandelions in the meadows have long since blown away, their stems stand straight and stiff and the leaves of the elk thistle are like curled brown memories. This is when I feel the sharp teeth of loneliness gnawing at my heart, and I try to comfort myself with reason, but reason is not too often comforting.

We are all of us alone, I reasoned. Alone we struggled from the womb, and alone we float down the inescapable river of life. Alone we face the falls, the horrible falls, where alone we shall wheeze out our last mortal gasp. I looked out the window then at a slender elm tree alone in the garden, and something compelled me to walk out to it. Suddenly I wanted to talk to a tree.

To talk to a tree is strange, is it not? Yet no one thinks it odd for man to speak to something he cannot see or touch, something he calls “God”. No one thinks it bizarre that we listen too and are impelled into strange actions, like buying a certain soft drink because of an image on TV, something we cannot touch. Yet if we were to shake hands with a tree, something real with its roots in the ground, something that lives, grows, and rustles in the wind, something in which living birds nest and hatch their young. If we were to touch a tree and to speak to it, we might be considered very peculiar indeed.

The tyranny of viewpoint, most often not our own, constricts us as surely as a horse's hobbles. The Indians thought it ordinary to communicate with animals, plants and trees. Walking Buffalo of the Stony Indians Tribe in Canada said, "did you know that trees talk? They talk to each other and they'll talk to you if you listen. I have learned a lot from trees, something about the weather, something about animals, and something about the Great Spirit".

I'm sure that my neighbours would have thought me quite daft had they seen me talking to this tree. But I was alone, and alone one has the right by that reason, to do as one pleases. Alone one is free, or ought to be, and so I thought, I shall see how it is to speak to a tree. I looked around first just to make sure none of my neighbors where around, but no one was watching and no one would hear me. Yet I had a difficult time bringing myself to do this simple, harmless thing.

We are as free as the barriers we have constructed around our minds permit us to be. Indeed, as we perceive it, insanity may be simply the elimination of all of the mind’s barriers. We know that trees do not talk, but how do we know? I might conclude that my neighbours also do not talk. I have never heard them speak, but that is because I have never spoken to them.

If I judged the ability of the human race to communicate based on my experience with my neighbours, I should likely conclude that the species is mute. In the same way, since I have never spoken to a tree, how could I possibly expect a tree to speak to me? Still, this was indeed strange behavior, this talking to trees, and I decided I would not mention it to my friends and family, who already thought me strange enough.

I looked around once more to make sure that no one was watching. Then suddenly I reached out and grasped the lowest limb of the tree, like one shaking hand’s. To my horror, I heard myself speaking out loud. “Tree,” I said, “I just dropped over to say hello.” It was easy. There was no parting of the clouds, no voice descended upon me saying, “Now you have finally done it! I have patiently endured your faithless pronouncements against me, and against my faithful, but talking to trees - this is finally too much!”

“Tree,” I said, “I've seen you almost every day outside my window, and have often admired you, but for some reason I've never stopped over. People are like that, you know.” The tree said nothing back, but I had a sense that somehow my words were being soaked up and listened too.

I've been with people many times and said things that never were soaked up, things that were important to me, but when I offered them to others, my opinions just sort of lay there in a puddle ignored. “You're lucky to have your friends with you all the time,” I said to the tree, “and you’re kids and your family. You have your roots all tangled up together and your capillaries all entwined, you’re cheek to cheek with those who are closest to you all summer long. And when the wind blows, your leaves caress each other. Must be quite something to have ten thousand leaves to feel with.”

I looked up. The tree's leaves had already fallen. After a minute I just came out with it, “I felt lonely today, that's why I'm out here speaking to you,” I said, and the tears came to my eyes. I didn't feel ashamed crying in front of a tree, although I have always felt shame in crying in front of people. “Thanks for listening to me” I said. “That's what friends are for” and gave the tree a loving pat. But the tree didn't answer.“I don't think people understand me,” I said. Still the tree didn't answer. But in the utter silence of the garden I heard a clear response. We must each find our own answers, the tree and I. That is freedom.

A tree's answers would not do for me, for it moves with the wind and with the seasons. Its feet are in the soil and it’s part of the earth. Its wisdom is, perhaps, too great to be imparted to the likes of me. Yet somehow I felt very wise after having listened to the tree.“Thank you tree” I said, “it helps a lot to have a true friend to talk to.” Then before I left, I asked the tree the one question of all questions: “Tree” I said, and waited until I knew I must have its attention, “what is the meaning of life?’ Again there was a long silence. “Speak up, dear friend, for how I need to know.”

The tree said nothing.

“Please!” I said.

Still it said nothing.

And then suddenly it dawned on me, we must all find our own answer.

Not so Good Memorys of the Past

2008-06-05T08:30:00.001-05:00

As I sit here behind this laptop, I now realize that this definitely wasn't the brightest idea I have ever had. I was going to rope a neighbors deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.It wasn't like he didn't shoot and kill them himself.

Now you have to understand this was shortly after I had moved to the bush so cut me a little slack here and there. OK

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my horse feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the horse feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

The horses, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up - 3 of them. I picked out.. ..a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw.. ..my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it…took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer-no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature
off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.

At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand,kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite?

Well They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head -almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal- like a horse - strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.

I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.

Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the prey.

Ripe Bean Soup

2008-06-03T08:43:00.003-05:00

Ripa Schauble Suppe

This is an ole Favorite of mine handed down to me by my Sainted ole Grandma.
What is this favorite Recipe? You might well ask, well seeing that you have asked , It’s Ripa Schauble Suppe. But this is not just your ordinary bean soup made with a can of Campbell’s pork & beans gently sautéed in a rich broth of Scotch, Vermouth and Gin .

No Siree this is different, the dedicated Research Team here at Swallow Central have again spared NO expense in bringing to the world the culinary delights of a bygone age.

This has class, this has schmaltz, this has everything , not only that but it tastes good too. And lord it’s got beans, plenty of beans. So prepare to Toot your horn or toot whatever feels good, and won’t get you in trouble with the law.

Remove clothing Don’t know how to cook with wine you say, Nooo probleemo Swallow is here to show you how.

Once again we need the large canner 20 quart size will do nicely, To big you say, hey we bought a lot of Beans for this and dammit we are going to need a place to put them.

1 Five cups dried red kidney beans. Soaked overnight, To much you say, Hah you ain’t seen nothing yet .
2 The remaining Ten taters left over from the twenty that you bought to make the last soup.
3 Eight large orange carrots
4 Five parsnips
5 Three onions LARGE
6 One large Bassoon, we’ll get to this later. But like it’s really important.
7 Two Bottles of Wine, Cotes du Rhone is nice.

Spices

1 Nine whole star anise ( if you use the bits it looks like you are boiling cockroaches, not cool )
2 Forty one pepper balls , forty might work if you lived in the Andy’s, but you don’t, so PLEASE stick with the first amount.
3 Five Laurel leaves, available at most Toga party’s
4 Three blistering hot dried chili peppers, for that Zing thing.
5 One half cup chopped Dill Weed
6 Parsley what ever amount you have, as unlike Pussy no one really likes to eat Parsley.
7 One glass of wine,

(Meat)

1 One Glass of Wine, see above .

2 Two large links Smoked Farmer Sausage ( farmer removed )
3 One small Smoked Picnic Ham , whole

Dairy

Two Quarts Whole Cream . Gently stroked from the teats of a cute but lonely Jersey cow
1 One pound Butter.
3 One glass of Wine, oh noover minds you get the Ideas.
4 One quart Sour Cream
5 At least One Large Dog, for company

Preparations of aboves goodies stuffs

Boils the beans ins da pot until sort of cooked
Have a sip of Wine
Cut sausage length ways and then into 1/4 “ pieces
Have a sips of Wine
Add wholes Ham to pot
Peel and dice Taters add to pot
Have a sip of Wine
Peel and slice carrots on the bias
Peel Parsnips and add to pot, do not cut Parsnips, just tell people that they are piglet tails.
Have Two sips of da Wines
Add Dill Weed ,Chiles and Parsley
Sit back and be Proud, tell your dog that He/She should be proud of you to, have a sip of Wine.
Let boil on high heat for Four hours stirring constantly while reciting the incantation, ( Beans Beans the Magical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot, the more you toot the better you feel so eat your beans with every meal.)

In small Sauce pan add 450 ml broth add anise and pepper balls , put on slow boil. Add water as required,
Rest, sit back and drink a Bottle of Wine.

After four hours add Sweet Cream , Sour Cream and Butter, and strain Spice stuff into pot, discard spices, Stir.
Remove pork rind and feed to dogs.
Now Have a Large Glass of Wine, Grab the Bassoon run outside and make rude noises while still naked, this will assure that your neighbors will not come over to mooch.

Ladle into bowls and enjoy,
Best with YOU GUESSED IT , A Glass of Wine

Also it freezes very well. Hence the large amounts, as well it does not work to make this on a small scale. The more often it is reheated the better.

Another culinary delight brought to you by the Bird Brained Research Team at Swallow’s Nest Inc. a wholly owned subsidiary of Fly by Night Industries .

We also do marriage Consoling, Heart transplants and Embalming.

For free quotes on our other services contact some one, Please!.

The only Trouble with a Kitten is that Ultimatly it becomes a Cat

2008-05-23T03:21:00.008-05:00

Cats, Cats, Cats.

Cats are nobodies servants,

they are not even pets in the excepted sense.

But rather Quests mystics and familiars,

doing what they wish when they please

Dogs who serve us and try to win our hearts,

are naive intellectual dwarfs by comparison

For you see cats remember a time when

they lolled in the sun, while our lot shivered in caves.

Now they chatter their teeth at birds,

and they quite joyfully murder mice.

And yet there is something profoundly disturbing about them.

I'm sure it's a superiority complex.

For now on lazy Autumn afternoons,

they drift across the mind like shadows,

and then they stamp the air with a whiff of brimstone.

What's in a Name

2008-05-22T18:01:00.006-05:00

I come upon the people like a shadow

and I sit down by each man's side.

None can see me but they look at one another

and they know that I am there.

My silence is like the silence of the tide

that steals the lives of young children.

Like the deepning of the frost on the long cold night

when birds are found dead in the morning.

Army's invade ,trample and destroy,

with guns roaring from earth and air.

I am more terrible than army's

I am more feared than cannon.

Kings and princes issue commands

give no commands to any.

And yet I am listened to more than Kings,

and more than passionate orators.

I unswear words and I undo deeds.

Naked things know me.

I am the first and the last to be felt of the living.

For you see My name is HUNGER

The Epitaph

2008-05-22T08:59:00.005-05:00

I think they will remember this as the age of Lamentations.

The age of broken minds and broken souls.

The age of hurt creatures sobbing out their sorrow to the rhythms of the blues.

The music of lost desolation's has become the music of the world.

The age of the failure of splendid things.

The age of the deformity of splendid things.

The age of old young men and bitter children.

The age of treachery and of a great new faith.

The age of Madness and of Machines Of broken bodies and fear twisted hearts.

The age of a frenzied fumbling and possessive lusts.

And yet deep down, an age unsatisfied with dirt and guns.

An age although choked by the selfishness of the few,who owned their bodies and their souls,struggled blindly to the very end.

And in their time, reached out magnificently,

Even for the very Stars themselves.

The Answer

2008-05-22T08:49:00.003-05:00

Then what is the Answer?

It is simply not to be deluded by dreams.

It is to know that great civilisations have broken down into violence and their tyrants have come and gone many times before.

It is to know that when open violence appears, to avoid it with honor, or choose the least ugly factions; these evils are essential.

To keep ones own integrity, be merciful and uncorrupted and not wish for evil; and not be duped by dreams of universal happiness, for these dreams will not be fulfilled.

To know this , and to know that however ugly the parts appear,the whole remains beautiful.

A severed hand is an ugly thing and a man dissevered from the Earth,and the stars and his own history for contemplation or in fact, often appears atrociously ugly.

Integrity is wholeness, the greatest beauty is organic wholeness, the wholeness of life and things. It is the Devine beauty of the universe, Love That, not man apart from that, or else you will share man's pitiful confusions,or drown in despair when your days darken.

Fair Trade

2008-05-21T16:41:00.005-05:00

Sometimes when I hold this faded old Globe.
That I used as a child to show where the oceans where and the five continents.
The lines of Latitude and Longitude The North pole , the South pole and the Equator.
Sometimes when I hold this wrecked blue cardboard pumpkin,
I think here in my hands rest the fair fields of my childhood, where still lie or still wander old games, tops and pets.

A house where I was little and as old as I was tall. Afraid to swear because Grandma might hear and send a bear to eat me up;
Where I loved the pink clenches, the white and pink fists of roses:
Where I watched the rain that the sky's clouds threw down, in irregular mirrors of soft brown glass upon the ground.

Sometimes I think this old school globe is a parcel of my past, a basket full of half forgotten things. And now here I stand with it, somewhen in the summertime.
All alone in an empty school room where about me hang, Old Maps an Abacus, Pictures, Blackboards and stand empty Desks.

If I raise my hand, no teacher shall demand what I want,
but if someone in authority were here I'd Scream.
GIVE ME THIS OLD WORLD BACK whose shattered husk I clasp.
And I'll give you in fair exchange, the real true bitter sad one.
Thats filled not with a child's remembered and pleasant skies
But rather with Death, Blood, Puss, Horror,,,,, Mothers , Fathers and Lies.

May- Flower Moon

2008-05-19T16:06:00.005-05:00

Tonight we Celebrate the night of the Flower Moon.

"And the Goddess told us"

Whenever ye have need of anything

once in the month and better it be when the moon is full,

then shall ye assemble in some secret place

and adore the spirit of me,

I who am the Queen of all witches.

There shall ye assemble

ye who are fain to learn all sorcery

yet have not won it's deepest secrets,

to these I will teach all things that are yet unknown.

And ye shall be free of slavery

and as a sign be naked in your rights

and ye shall dance , sing, feast make music and love

all in my praise.

For mine is the ecstacy of the spirit

and mine also is joy on earth

for my Law is Love unto all beings.

To all My children

Blessed Be.

In most areas by the time May arrives flowers are abundant everywhere, so its not surprising that the full moon should take this name.

The thing's I've learned.

2008-05-17T19:36:00.005-05:00

The Photo is that of a Glass Winged butterfly found in Costa Rica, if only people could be so transparent.

I've learned - That it's not what you have in your life, but whom you have in your life that counts.

I've learned - That you don’t have to compare yourself to the best others can do. To be yourself is enough.

I've learned - That you can do some things in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned - That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned - That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned - That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned - That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down. Are the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned - That sometimes when I'm angry, I have the right to be angry. But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned - That maturity has more to do with the types of experiences you have had, and what you have learned from them. Not how many birthdays you have had.

I've learned - That no matter how good a friend is, they will hurt you once in a while. You must forgive them for that.

I've learned – Sometimes its not enough to be forgiven. You also need to forgive yourself.

I've learned - That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned - That two people can look at the exact same thing and each can see something totally different.

I've learned – That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people you don't even know.

I've learned - That credentials on the wall, does not make a decent person.

I've learned - That no matter how much I care. Some people just don't care back.

I've learned - That it can take years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned - That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned - That once a relationship is over, if you experienced more smiles than tears, then it wasn't a waste of time.
I've learned - That I must never humiliate another person. Always give him an honorable way to back out of something and still save face.
I've learned - That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned - That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
I've learned - That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

I've learned - It's sometimes easier to talk and look stupid, than to remain silent and suffer. Yet my guardian deity is the plant of silence. Secrets must remain secret.

I've learned - Inside every older person is a younger person wondering: "So what the fuck happened to me?"

Got yah

As always Hier stehe ich, ich kann nicht anders. - Here I stand, I cannot do otherwise.

The Witch in You

2008-05-17T18:47:00.006-05:00

As a child, did you ever make mud pies, but knew that your concoction wasn't quite right until you added that special blade of grass or flower or berry on top?
Then you know the care a witch puts into his/her brew and the painstaking importance of every last magical ingredient in his/her spell"."

As an adult, have you ever prepared a meal for others and paid careful attention to the ingredients that you were using because you wanted it taste scrumptious along with being healthy?
"Then you have practiced a bit of kitchen witchery".

Have you ever looked up into the sky and seen clouds that resembled an animal or a person's face or some other object?
"Then you have divined like a witch".

Have you ever as a child (or even as an adult ) attempted to make one of those clouds disappear through the sheer power of your mind?
"Then you have practiced a little weather magick".

Have you ever spoken to your pet as if they were human, or known what they wanted by simply observing their actions or the look in their eyes?
"Then you have begun to communicate as a witch does with a familiar".

Have you ever felt sad and cried when something or someone you didn't even know got hurt or died?
"Then you have experienced one of the many feelings of the empathic witch".

Have you ever had a fortunate "coincidence" happen to you, or a project that seems to have flowed flawlessly, or written a book that feels as if it wrote itself?
"Then you've been introduced to synchronicity and the witch's secret of aligning with the Universe".

Have you ever had everything go wrong, or struggled to write even a simple sentence, or felt strangely down and out-of-sorts for no reason?
"Then you know the first step of the witch's secret of how s/he knows s/he is *not* aligned with the Universe".

Have you ever spoken a quick prayer for your safety or the safety of others?
"Then you have practiced one part of a witch's protection spell".

Have you ever wished it would stop raining and then the sun made a sudden appearance, or ever wished someone would just go away...and they did?
"Then you have touched on the powers of a witch".

Have you ever been attracted to or studied ancient mythology and become familiar with names such as Zeus, Artemis, Aphrodite... Diana, Jupiter, Venus... Isis, Horus, Bast... Freya, Odin, Thor... Brigid, Cerridwen, or Lugh?
"Then you know something of a witch's pantheon and who s/he might be consorting with".

Have you ever woken up refreshed and said "hello" or "good morning" to the sun?
"Then you have hailed and honored one of the many witch's Gods".

Have you ever gotten so angry that unwittingly whatever you were holding in your hand broke... felt your pulse quicken during a scary movie... found something so funny that you couldn't stop laughing at until your sides hurt... or been on the tail-end of a "whip" at the roller skating rink?
"Then you have experienced a wee dose of raised energy".

Have you ever planted a garden and firmly patted the rich dark soil around a seedling, sat by the heat of a fire and wondered what fire actually was, gone swimming in the ocean and felt its undertow grab at your feet, or listened to the howls of the wind before a storm?
"Then you have played with aspects of the Elements a witch works with".

Have you ever "wow"ed at a sunset or sunrise, the largeness of the moon as it crests the horizon, the wrath of the ocean waves during a storm, or.. (insert your own "wow" moment here)..?
"Then you have felt what a witch feels all the time".

Have you ever daydreamed of making love in the grass under a full moon, or in a field of lavender under a blazing sun, or in the water of a pristine lake under a canopy of twinkling stars, or on the beach in the rain during a thunderstorm?
"Then you have dreamed of what a witch does".

Have you ever sunk your teeth into a ripe peach or melon, savored the flavor of mint or butter pecan ice cream, or enjoyed a slice of freshly-baked apple cinnamon pie?
"Then you have tasted the sweetness of a witch's Goddess".

Have you ever marveled over how the crystals grew inside that geode, or over the intricacies of a seashell's form, or over the infinite pattern of a fractal, or over the face that looks back at you in the mirror?
"Then you have glimpsed the Goddess/God in you".

The Swallows Nest Two

2008-05-05T06:56:00.010-05:00

Just another home away from home a place of wild wonders and quite solitude.